I think about this allll the time. Sometimes I'm like, omg I want more readers, but then I've also seen how people put others on a pedestal online only to tear them down.
It’s so scary. It really is. Went through years of self reflection to come to this conclusion lol! I think that is just really easy to judge people online when you are not exposing yourself the way that they are, when you’re “shielded” by not having a profile picture, or any kind of content in any way… It takes a lot of courage to start posting things, but when you do, you always find people that are willing to listen and these are the people that you keep doing it for, right?
Your journey from niche to wider recognition is both inspiring and relatable. The anxiety of performance, the fear of judgment, and the struggle to balance personal passion with public perception—it's a rollercoaster every creator knows well.
It's refreshing to see your honesty about the highs and lows. From the comfort of niche writing to the overwhelming exposure and mean comments, you've navigated it all with resilience. Starting anew on Substack shows your commitment to growth and connection, honouring your teacher Akemi’s belief in your potential.
The words of the obscure yet insightful writer, Rainer Maria Rilke, come to mind: "Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." Your story embodies this beautifully—embracing the whole spectrum of emotions and experiences that come with putting yourself out there.
Writing for a larger audience does bring pressure, but it also brings incredible opportunities and connections. Keep creating, keep sharing, and remember that the journey itself is valuable. We grow, we adapt, and through it all, we find our true voice. Here's to the continual evolution of your writing and the new horizons it will undoubtedly reach.
Oh my god. Wow!! Thank you for such a beautiful comment, i don’t think i even deserve all this but i’m very thrilled with all of it!! Thank you so, so much again! You made my day so much better! :)
Yes! That's it. I know this sounds weird or just crazy but if you ever leave, please, please, please I want to read it all. You speak in terms I understand. Almost as if I was a friend that was part of the conversation, but didn't say anything, [been there]. Each article I come to I think, please, don't rush. Do not put undo pressure on yourself to write. I'm so honest whe nI saw each piece you have written is like opening another Christmas gift. I am sorry if this cause any undo pressure, forgive me, but you have a fan for life here. Oh, my thing I always would toss in about the two sides of a coin, I would come back with three. The edge can count as a side. Just an idea.
MARK!!! Not planning on leaving anytime soon! Much writing is yet to come!! And thank you so much for this! You ARE part of this conversation, don’t ever think otherwise!
Amanda, I really loved how you connected: being a concept in friends’ heads vs authenticity, and writing for an audience vs writing for yourself. I think it’s sooooo true and it’s no different with many other things than with writing: like, if you can’t be authentic, if you’re always trying to keep yourself inside the box of an imagined audience, you’re just constantly going to be anxious about how that imagined audience thinks of you and how you exist in their heads… for me, my best writing comes when I’m being authentic and performing for no one but myself ❤️❤️thanks for reminding us of that!!!
OMG ANDREW I LOVED YOUR TAKE ON THIS! This goes beyond writing, you’re so right. And it’s much more common now with social media! Being authentic is always the best choice to make, and no one talks about the freedom you feel when you’re being authentic and not trapped inside a single aesthetic or a single writing style!
So important!! Honestly: I used to agonize so much over this question, am I a “good writer”? And I came up with who knows what criteria for this, based on some imagined perception of some imagined group of people!!! This is paralyzing!! This cannot be!! 🦋
You did it again! 🫶✨ 1. This: “Keep writing as if no one will read it, and that will be most definitely your best work, since you can’t please everyone” high value advice ( hopefully many take it with them home to create) 2. I do believe ( I’ve seen you in person beside your profile photo) but i can tell you’re someone which words hold magic to inspire and transform, maybe at some point you can get comfortable with people seeing you bc your work is meant to cross oceans💖 love this piece amanda!
Jen!! I believe that was the nicest thing someone has ever said to me!!! Thank you for that, i really appreciate your feedback and this really, really made my day!!! 🥹🫶🏻 As far as showing my face goes, we, as women, are often valued by our appearance rather than our content, and our looks, unfortunately, dictate on whether we’re going to be taken seriously or not as overall intellectuals. I believe i want to take my writing as far as it can go and once i’ve set all my goals, i’ll definitely reveal my identity, which isn’t really a big deal, i’m just a college girl with a lot to say lol! I understand this is quite a controversial take, but i’ve seen friends of mine get super harassed by just posting a selfie here, usually by the public enemies number one (men)! Again, thank you so, so much for your comment, it really means a lot to me!!! 🩷🫶🏻🥹💌🤞🏻✨
Yes!! I agree with everything you said. Understand the harassment/ value per appearance as well. I come from Colombia where machismo is still a thing.. anyway I applaud the fact you are clear about what are your values, how you want to pursue things and that is all it matters. 🫶 ps: don’t forget to enjoy your collage life, is a beautiful stage to experiment! Sometimes I want to go back then 🤣
thank you so much for being so kind and understanding, jen!!! it means so much to me! colombia is one of the places i would absolutely love to visit one day. 🫶🏻✨
"I had tasted the sweet nectar of clout once, and i was never going to do this to myself again."
This reminds me of my own falling out with online clout lol, almost half a decade ago and it wasn't related to writing at all (that's always been something personal for me), but instead it was a Twitter account of mine that had 5k followers once. I got so happy people gave a shit about my thoughts and found me funny and agreeable, but then I took a break and left because it all got so overwhelming (and much like what you say made you leave Goodreads is what made me leave Twitter). The praise was great, the mean comments were not!
It's a double edged sword, when very few people know or interact with anything you've put out into the world it's sometimes nice, but then it begins to suck and feel like waste. Then, if you do get popular in some way, it becomes too overbearing.
Anyway, I'm slowly making my way through your articles and I genuinely admire how relatable your writing is! I'm the same age as you so some of the topics you write about helps me make sense of some of these things for myself haha.
OMG HI CHAR!! I love talking to you! You have the most articulate thoughts ever, of course you’d be known for them! And it’s so sad when people start with the mean comments.. But for me personally, seeing people like you on Substack makes me want to never stop posting! I get so excited to see such interesting, intelligent people share their thoughts on something that i wrote and it’s such a joy that i forget all about the mean stuff. Thank you for reading this and thanks for the comment!!!!
this was great, and you’re right: there’s always something that we want to do but we never do it, and we end up regretting it. That’s why I joined this app too, cause if I don’t do things for myself, who will?
Hi, Selene!! Your name is one of the prettiest i’ve ever seen in my life, by the way! And you’re totally right! Your life becomes so much brighter once you share your art and passion with people that are interested in it, and you brighten up their lives by doing it as well!!
I think that is why I started Original. It's an entity and not just me..I know who I am but to everyone who reads, I could be anyone! I could be tall, short, wear glasses, have pink hair.... I could literally be anyone.
But what I write about is real, it's my truth. If people can read it and like it, agree with it or even disagree with it, then I have fulfilled what I think is my life purpose.
I know I was born to write, about what? I am not too sure but I am a 20 year old in college with a lot of life experiences. So while Im figuring out why I was called to write, I can have fun and met people along the way. Great read!
Hi!!! Thank you so much for reading this! And exactly! And that’s so cool!! Reading about experiences and having other people read about yours is the best thing for me! It’s all about the exchange with people all around the world that you don’t get to have anywhere else!
Ahh you inspire me!! For some reason, things excite me until people see me do them. Some days I really don't want to be perceived, but at the same time I want to write and make content??
I'm sitting down in a cafe right now to write, and reading this was the perfect intro! Thank you for sharing <3
Arielle!! Thank you so much for reading!! It means the world to me! And i feel the same way some days too! But i think that i have met so many incredible people on here already and i have spent so many time and energy towards this that i just feel the need to share and to have meaningful interactions with these people being bigger than my fear of being judged. Somehow, we only think about the negative aspects of things first, rather than think about all the benefits of having a newsletter or blogging or being a content creator, right? But i’m trying to change that because the positive outcome (having interactions with people like you!) is so much bigger than what’s negative about it!
It was totally like: “ People are going to see me! 😩😨😨😣” at first, but now it’s like “People are going to SEE ME! 🥹🥹” This totally validates my theatre kid high school self who just wouldn’t stop talking for a minute.
yes exactly!! I love all the connection with others on here, puts a smile on my face every time! And I think that is a huge part of what subconsciously drives me to create stuff: I want to be understood, and I want to understand others. As much as I dislike being seen on some days, knowing that some people on here just get me gives me a lot of comfort.
love this so much! you are such an incredible writer!! as a relatively new writer i’ve been thinking a lot about what my writing is and means and i think it’s a nice reminder that we create not only for others and what we think they expect but for and through ourselves. thank you for such a thoughtful reflection 💕🌷
Hi, Maria!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and it resonated with you. And yes, creating a world for yourself through writing is the reason why many authors do write! If you’re constantly thinking about others, it loses the magic, right? ⭐️✨🫶🏻💌
Amanda! You’re so real. I’m desperately trying to keep the pressure low on my Substack, and I think I’m weathering the storm. Thanks for saying what we’re all thinking!
HI ALEIKZA!! So glad you’re here!!! You’re such a talented writer and such a natural at it! Sometimes you just have to appreciate the beauty and immense quality of what you already have published out there instead of pressuring yourself into doing more, and i’m sure that there are more people like me who are willing to wait for however much time it takes to appreciate good poetry or good stories or good writing like yours! Quality beats quantity all the time for me!
i loved it i love you!! congrats on all of the new friends, you deserve everyone one of them :))) i'm so glad that you decided to start your substack for your late teacher Akemi <3
omg omg omg, i just discovered your substack account and i love it soo very much, you’re an excellent writer and i don’t think i’ve related to anything more than this article! (article? upload?) the way that you talk about being perceived and how scary that can be was so incredibly real to me, you put some of my thoughts into words and i just think that that is so amazing. the quote that you had in there (“those who are not seen are never remembered”) might just be my new life motto! i’m so grateful that i found your page and i’m looking forward to reading more of your stuff!! have a lovely day!
EVELYN!!! You’re going to make me cry!!! 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you so much! Thank you for taking the time to comment something so nice, i appreciate it SO much. Seriously. 💌🫶🏻
Hi, Mira!!! That feeling is so valid, but i feel like everyone has different writing styles and different experiences so any kind of writing will be appreciated by someone! And you totally shouldn’t feel that way, by the way, because you’re just so gifted! We should be lucky that you’re sharing your gift with us!!!⭐️✨
I think about this allll the time. Sometimes I'm like, omg I want more readers, but then I've also seen how people put others on a pedestal online only to tear them down.
But speaking of you personally, you have a PHD. No one can tear you down. Period.
It’s so scary. It really is. Went through years of self reflection to come to this conclusion lol! I think that is just really easy to judge people online when you are not exposing yourself the way that they are, when you’re “shielded” by not having a profile picture, or any kind of content in any way… It takes a lot of courage to start posting things, but when you do, you always find people that are willing to listen and these are the people that you keep doing it for, right?
I saw a comment that said you have a PHD.....congrats? Like what? So huge!
One thing I like to think about, even if they tear you down. You are still writing, isn't that the point of it all! <3
Your journey from niche to wider recognition is both inspiring and relatable. The anxiety of performance, the fear of judgment, and the struggle to balance personal passion with public perception—it's a rollercoaster every creator knows well.
It's refreshing to see your honesty about the highs and lows. From the comfort of niche writing to the overwhelming exposure and mean comments, you've navigated it all with resilience. Starting anew on Substack shows your commitment to growth and connection, honouring your teacher Akemi’s belief in your potential.
The words of the obscure yet insightful writer, Rainer Maria Rilke, come to mind: "Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." Your story embodies this beautifully—embracing the whole spectrum of emotions and experiences that come with putting yourself out there.
Writing for a larger audience does bring pressure, but it also brings incredible opportunities and connections. Keep creating, keep sharing, and remember that the journey itself is valuable. We grow, we adapt, and through it all, we find our true voice. Here's to the continual evolution of your writing and the new horizons it will undoubtedly reach.
Oh my god. Wow!! Thank you for such a beautiful comment, i don’t think i even deserve all this but i’m very thrilled with all of it!! Thank you so, so much again! You made my day so much better! :)
Yes! That's it. I know this sounds weird or just crazy but if you ever leave, please, please, please I want to read it all. You speak in terms I understand. Almost as if I was a friend that was part of the conversation, but didn't say anything, [been there]. Each article I come to I think, please, don't rush. Do not put undo pressure on yourself to write. I'm so honest whe nI saw each piece you have written is like opening another Christmas gift. I am sorry if this cause any undo pressure, forgive me, but you have a fan for life here. Oh, my thing I always would toss in about the two sides of a coin, I would come back with three. The edge can count as a side. Just an idea.
MARK!!! Not planning on leaving anytime soon! Much writing is yet to come!! And thank you so much for this! You ARE part of this conversation, don’t ever think otherwise!
Amanda, I really loved how you connected: being a concept in friends’ heads vs authenticity, and writing for an audience vs writing for yourself. I think it’s sooooo true and it’s no different with many other things than with writing: like, if you can’t be authentic, if you’re always trying to keep yourself inside the box of an imagined audience, you’re just constantly going to be anxious about how that imagined audience thinks of you and how you exist in their heads… for me, my best writing comes when I’m being authentic and performing for no one but myself ❤️❤️thanks for reminding us of that!!!
OMG ANDREW I LOVED YOUR TAKE ON THIS! This goes beyond writing, you’re so right. And it’s much more common now with social media! Being authentic is always the best choice to make, and no one talks about the freedom you feel when you’re being authentic and not trapped inside a single aesthetic or a single writing style!
So important!! Honestly: I used to agonize so much over this question, am I a “good writer”? And I came up with who knows what criteria for this, based on some imagined perception of some imagined group of people!!! This is paralyzing!! This cannot be!! 🦋
YES!!! imagine valuing your own writing according to someone else’s opinion!!! No way!!! But if you want my opinion, you’re SO GOOD AT IT! 🥹🥹
Awww thank you so much Amanda!!! You’re the first friend I’ve ever made on substack and I just love you ❤️
LOVE YOU BACK!!! 🦋🥹
You did it again! 🫶✨ 1. This: “Keep writing as if no one will read it, and that will be most definitely your best work, since you can’t please everyone” high value advice ( hopefully many take it with them home to create) 2. I do believe ( I’ve seen you in person beside your profile photo) but i can tell you’re someone which words hold magic to inspire and transform, maybe at some point you can get comfortable with people seeing you bc your work is meant to cross oceans💖 love this piece amanda!
Jen!! I believe that was the nicest thing someone has ever said to me!!! Thank you for that, i really appreciate your feedback and this really, really made my day!!! 🥹🫶🏻 As far as showing my face goes, we, as women, are often valued by our appearance rather than our content, and our looks, unfortunately, dictate on whether we’re going to be taken seriously or not as overall intellectuals. I believe i want to take my writing as far as it can go and once i’ve set all my goals, i’ll definitely reveal my identity, which isn’t really a big deal, i’m just a college girl with a lot to say lol! I understand this is quite a controversial take, but i’ve seen friends of mine get super harassed by just posting a selfie here, usually by the public enemies number one (men)! Again, thank you so, so much for your comment, it really means a lot to me!!! 🩷🫶🏻🥹💌🤞🏻✨
Yes!! I agree with everything you said. Understand the harassment/ value per appearance as well. I come from Colombia where machismo is still a thing.. anyway I applaud the fact you are clear about what are your values, how you want to pursue things and that is all it matters. 🫶 ps: don’t forget to enjoy your collage life, is a beautiful stage to experiment! Sometimes I want to go back then 🤣
thank you so much for being so kind and understanding, jen!!! it means so much to me! colombia is one of the places i would absolutely love to visit one day. 🫶🏻✨
oh!! i’m loving college so far! it’s really a beautiful time on our lives! 🥹🥹🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻✨
"I had tasted the sweet nectar of clout once, and i was never going to do this to myself again."
This reminds me of my own falling out with online clout lol, almost half a decade ago and it wasn't related to writing at all (that's always been something personal for me), but instead it was a Twitter account of mine that had 5k followers once. I got so happy people gave a shit about my thoughts and found me funny and agreeable, but then I took a break and left because it all got so overwhelming (and much like what you say made you leave Goodreads is what made me leave Twitter). The praise was great, the mean comments were not!
It's a double edged sword, when very few people know or interact with anything you've put out into the world it's sometimes nice, but then it begins to suck and feel like waste. Then, if you do get popular in some way, it becomes too overbearing.
Anyway, I'm slowly making my way through your articles and I genuinely admire how relatable your writing is! I'm the same age as you so some of the topics you write about helps me make sense of some of these things for myself haha.
OMG HI CHAR!! I love talking to you! You have the most articulate thoughts ever, of course you’d be known for them! And it’s so sad when people start with the mean comments.. But for me personally, seeing people like you on Substack makes me want to never stop posting! I get so excited to see such interesting, intelligent people share their thoughts on something that i wrote and it’s such a joy that i forget all about the mean stuff. Thank you for reading this and thanks for the comment!!!!
Of course, you're so kind! <3
What a short but enjoyable read~ thank you
Thank you so much for reading!!! 🥹🫶🏻✨
this was great, and you’re right: there’s always something that we want to do but we never do it, and we end up regretting it. That’s why I joined this app too, cause if I don’t do things for myself, who will?
Hi, Selene!! Your name is one of the prettiest i’ve ever seen in my life, by the way! And you’re totally right! Your life becomes so much brighter once you share your art and passion with people that are interested in it, and you brighten up their lives by doing it as well!!
I think that is why I started Original. It's an entity and not just me..I know who I am but to everyone who reads, I could be anyone! I could be tall, short, wear glasses, have pink hair.... I could literally be anyone.
But what I write about is real, it's my truth. If people can read it and like it, agree with it or even disagree with it, then I have fulfilled what I think is my life purpose.
I know I was born to write, about what? I am not too sure but I am a 20 year old in college with a lot of life experiences. So while Im figuring out why I was called to write, I can have fun and met people along the way. Great read!
Hi!!! Thank you so much for reading this! And exactly! And that’s so cool!! Reading about experiences and having other people read about yours is the best thing for me! It’s all about the exchange with people all around the world that you don’t get to have anywhere else!
Ahh you inspire me!! For some reason, things excite me until people see me do them. Some days I really don't want to be perceived, but at the same time I want to write and make content??
I'm sitting down in a cafe right now to write, and reading this was the perfect intro! Thank you for sharing <3
Arielle!! Thank you so much for reading!! It means the world to me! And i feel the same way some days too! But i think that i have met so many incredible people on here already and i have spent so many time and energy towards this that i just feel the need to share and to have meaningful interactions with these people being bigger than my fear of being judged. Somehow, we only think about the negative aspects of things first, rather than think about all the benefits of having a newsletter or blogging or being a content creator, right? But i’m trying to change that because the positive outcome (having interactions with people like you!) is so much bigger than what’s negative about it!
It was totally like: “ People are going to see me! 😩😨😨😣” at first, but now it’s like “People are going to SEE ME! 🥹🥹” This totally validates my theatre kid high school self who just wouldn’t stop talking for a minute.
to be loved is to be seen (by people who really understand you for YOU) <3
EXACTLY!! 🥹🫶🏻
yes exactly!! I love all the connection with others on here, puts a smile on my face every time! And I think that is a huge part of what subconsciously drives me to create stuff: I want to be understood, and I want to understand others. As much as I dislike being seen on some days, knowing that some people on here just get me gives me a lot of comfort.
Yes!!! 🥹🫶🏻
love this so much! you are such an incredible writer!! as a relatively new writer i’ve been thinking a lot about what my writing is and means and i think it’s a nice reminder that we create not only for others and what we think they expect but for and through ourselves. thank you for such a thoughtful reflection 💕🌷
Hi, Maria!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and it resonated with you. And yes, creating a world for yourself through writing is the reason why many authors do write! If you’re constantly thinking about others, it loses the magic, right? ⭐️✨🫶🏻💌
Amanda! You’re so real. I’m desperately trying to keep the pressure low on my Substack, and I think I’m weathering the storm. Thanks for saying what we’re all thinking!
HI ALEIKZA!! So glad you’re here!!! You’re such a talented writer and such a natural at it! Sometimes you just have to appreciate the beauty and immense quality of what you already have published out there instead of pressuring yourself into doing more, and i’m sure that there are more people like me who are willing to wait for however much time it takes to appreciate good poetry or good stories or good writing like yours! Quality beats quantity all the time for me!
i loved it i love you!! congrats on all of the new friends, you deserve everyone one of them :))) i'm so glad that you decided to start your substack for your late teacher Akemi <3
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! 🥹🫶🏻💌✨ I’m SO grateful to have met you!!! ⭐️✨💌💌🫶🏻
omg omg omg, i just discovered your substack account and i love it soo very much, you’re an excellent writer and i don’t think i’ve related to anything more than this article! (article? upload?) the way that you talk about being perceived and how scary that can be was so incredibly real to me, you put some of my thoughts into words and i just think that that is so amazing. the quote that you had in there (“those who are not seen are never remembered”) might just be my new life motto! i’m so grateful that i found your page and i’m looking forward to reading more of your stuff!! have a lovely day!
EVELYN!!! You’re going to make me cry!!! 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you so much! Thank you for taking the time to comment something so nice, i appreciate it SO much. Seriously. 💌🫶🏻
OF COURSE girlie!! anytime!!
🥹🤞🏻💌✨⭐️🫶🏻
loveeee this
AWW THANK YOU!!! 🥹🫶🏻💌
Hi, Mira!!! That feeling is so valid, but i feel like everyone has different writing styles and different experiences so any kind of writing will be appreciated by someone! And you totally shouldn’t feel that way, by the way, because you’re just so gifted! We should be lucky that you’re sharing your gift with us!!!⭐️✨