Certified PLUS.

The Writer’s Footnotes #2

I always knew I was going to be a writer.

And I always knew the consequences of it.

But I always understood these things. Adulthood came early for me, it didn’t wait for me to get heartbroken over a silly school crush or wear my flower crown at prom with my best friends. No. I had to get to work. I’d rather spend my recesses with my teachers, who would constantly look through the window and sigh. And I sighed with them, I knew I was FUCKED UP for wanting to turn this silly hobby of mine into something serious. My teachers at school gave me a real perspective of life and a black coffee addiction (Which I’m trying to switch to green tea. Is it the same thing? Is green tea better or..?). Anyway, I knew I had a lot of work to do.

Nine thousand failed poetry contests, dis encouraging partners, failed submissions to magazines, in credit card debt later, the day came.

The best day of YOUR life came. I downloaded Substack. Just kidding. It wasn’t even the best day of MY life ( just because I didn’t know what was coming..).

I was being a writer. If you write to people, you’re a writer. Kind of. I obviously knew it wasn’t going to be like “How to lose a guy in 10 days’ or ‘The devil wears Prada’, but I didn’t know it was so painful. Damn. It is PHYSICALLY painful. Where is my flowy yellow dress and my maaaan?! I had a yellow stain in my eyes instead, called ‘I haven’t slept well in thirteen months’ . I weighed about 87 pounds and I was burned out. You know what, this is almost the most cliche thing I’ll ever say but I was almost giving up. Until I downloaded Substack.

Not going to lie to you, I downloaded this as a hobby. I didn’t know anything about it, and I obviously didn’t know about the overwhelming love and support from people here. I never received that amount of positive feedback before. Looking at your comments makes me think that my teachers never believed I could be a writer (they didn’t). And boy, was I happy. Still burned out, still picking my hair off, but happy.

I never had this feeling at my former job. And I never thought writing was for me until now, that’s why I won’t miss the job. You can’t miss the support you’ve never had, right?

But it’s not all roses. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen my copyright ‘fiasco’ by now. And I’m pretty sure you fucking hated what happened too. People can be little bitches!!!! So, magazines treated me like shit, colleagues treated me like shit, and now Substack people? My people? No. I knew my friends wouldn’t dissapoint me. And you guys did not play! We did a massive copyright campaign and we were able to take all my copycats down successfully. (At least the ones i was aware of). Certified became an active part of my life, and it’s all because of you.

That being said, I have an announcement to make:

As Ken (from Barbie) ‘s job is ‘just beach’, mine will be ‘just Substack’. That’s right!

Paid content.

WHAT’S NEW, AMES?

Certified will still have posts every Sunday. But Wednesdays, my dears, are for paid subscribers. Wednesdays will have a bunch of content, and every Wednesday piece will be one of these:

• Weekly q&as/ advice columns (I KNOW you guys were dying to do this with me)

• exclusive interviews with my authors, scholars, or cultural critics friends . (YUP)

• custom recommendations based on individual subscriber preferences.

AND WHAT DO I EARN WITH THIS?

• You’ll get my undeniable love and support

• I will personally come to your house every day and make you tea and tell you bedtime stories (No I won’t)

• You’ll help a broke student who’s unemployed (YAY!)

Paid subscribers will also have a bigger saying in which books will be discussed at the book club!

So upgrade to Certified + so you can be the coolest, most knowledgeable person at the club, even when your feet are killing you, even when the same guy is hitting on you over and over, and all you can think of is the McNuggets you’ll eat afterwards.

To Sydney and Marleny, a massive thank you. I didn’t know I could receive this amount of love and support. You both believed in what I do, and that means the world to me.

CERTIFIED is brought to you by Sydney & Marleny.