How to be ‘Substack Famous’
How to be ‘Substack Famous’
The Certified Writer’s Files #8
If we’re familiar with each other, you probably know why I started writing to you. But if we’re not, well, that’s a simple story.
And I believe my story will entangle itself with yours if you write as well ( professionally or for fun). I started writing because i always felt different, I felt like I had too many feelings and was very introspective to externalize any of them. And as a teen blasting out Lorde’s “Melodrama” on my speakers while smoking the cheapest cigarettes you could ever encounter because I, too, believed that the higher the sound, the weaker the smell in my room would get ( No experience is individual), you can be certain that I found my comfort on the internet, more specifically Goodreads and Tumblr.
As I grew older, I kept this idea in my head of getting my thoughts out of the paper and into your hearts because maybe I could find someone who would relate to my experiences, and now, I'm happy to say that I found people that I believe are going to be part of my life for a really long time. My other halves. That’s the primary reason as to why I write.
I’m also no stranger to the fact that, hey, you got to make money, too. I totally get it. Not every writer has the fine luxury of doing this exclusively. Some of us live the Bukowski life (having tons of fucked up jobs), and really want to make an extra cash by doing what you love and getting a coin from your talent, so that maybe one day, you can do this full time. And that’s fair.
But getting on Substack lately has me stressed out. I’ve been seeing less and less of the content i subscribed for. My fellow writer friends have been publishing a lot and I can’t even see all their posts. Instead, I’ve been getting content from the “entrepreneurs” ( had to google how to write that word twice, dude), the so called writers that get lots of likes and comments and paid subscribers and “teach” you all the strategies so that you can have all that, too.
So, my question to you is:
Am I “too human” for this job or are some of you guys fucking robots?
Because, baby, you’re going to work nonstop. Some of the “strategies” consist of:
Publishing over a hundred notes a day.
Making articles about “the key” of being a successful author (which isn’t true), so you can get others to think you absolutely are, and then subscribing to you
Post fake screenshots of fake revenue created by being a writer ( this one me and you know is totally bullshit because if you’re a writer, you’re a struggling artist even if you do make money)
And some other absurd “tips” I won’t even give you the disgust of reading. My substack feed has been really about people having competitions over who has the best note or the most viral note. And to think that I even thought that this was a place for posting articles or poems or short stories. This is becoming LinkedIn. And as a liberal artist, I most certainly do not fuck with LinkedIn.
It really baffles me that some individuals are writing articles and think pieces only with the quotes, comments and restacks in mind. Only. But I'm not that surprised, since this is a social media platform, after all. But some of you are really losing the point. I really imagine these creators with lots of energy drinks on their desks, looking obsessively at their computer screen being like “50 more people to a hundred subscribers, 50 more to 200 followers”, like, rocking back and forth on their chair, pulling their hair out.
Let’s suppose there are no bots on this app. There isn’t such a thing as creating a million emails and subscribing to yourself or importing mailing lists. Let’s suppose these are all real people, with real accounts, who signed up to whatever you’re writing about and are genuinely reading your words. Do you have any idea of what 50 people look like? This is what fifty people look like. 0.5 people per square metre. (50 people in 100 square metres).
And I know you’re counting them to see if there’s 50 people. Stop. Would I lie to you? Genuinely offended, but anyway:
Imagine all of them reading your work and producing thoughts about it, taking a lesson out of it with them and overall engaging with your work. Because that can happen. Fifty people IS a lot. Do you even have fifty people in your contacts? Do you talk to fifty people in your daily life? (sans job obligations, of course.) Some of you just need that push back to earth for a second.
You’re really building community through your writing, having an audience!! Shit, isn’t that great?! If you’re being paid, you have founding members, people that have been with you since the very beginning and even if you still think fifty people isn’t a lot, there are still people. And if you’re writing and haven’t gotten there yet, you will!
In the pre-internet era, when an author did a book signing and 200 people packed up a bookstore, it was a hit. When did we stop thinking that’s not a lot? Just because we’re on Substack? I don’t think some people even notice that there are readers that look forward to their next post weekly or bi-weekly. There are still humans behind every screen.
So, yes, maybe some of you guys are robots. And it’s up to the reader to catch that and seek for someone who does care about their craft. Someone who wouldn’t trade the quality of their content for cash grab posts.
Even if you’re not interested in writing novels or poems, or even articles, and are more inclined to make direct content here, you can do that without looking like a charlatan. Following all these tips to “Substack success” will only attract bots and people that are already following a million creators just like you.
That’s why I think I’ll leave my paid content plans to next year. I don’t want to make you pay for something i personally wouldn’t. I’ll keep ghostwriting and freelancing my way up to the top until then, because imagine making YOUR personal friends ( because you’re mine) pay for useless posts. I’d be hurt.
So, the thought I want to leave you with is: Please slow down and appreciate the process. Please? Don’t lose yourself and your singular writing identity by succumbing to the “Gotta make it!” Mindset I’ve been seeing all over here. Be appreciative of the people that read you and are with you on this journey, even if there are few.
Although it might take you a long time to get where you’re aiming, please keep in mind that it doesn’t happen that fast with anyone (unless you’re nepo). I’ve seen friends of mine pressed about writing weekly when they’re not even doing it as a full time job. Breathe!!!!! Take your time, and real ones will read you once you get back.
I also wanted to leave you with this great post by my friend Griffin (
), where he discusses kind of the same thing in a much better way lol. This is almost like a collaborative post because i thought a lot about his words while writing this. Thanks, Griffin!
*If you’re a new friend i just made, here’s me writing about how cool David Lynch is and why I think we should be more like him:
every time a social app becomes popular it gets bombarded with “coaches” trying to make money. i like reading silly little articles about people’s lives, what they love, what they hate, and deep thoughts they have at midnight. i think it’s cool people can make money off of their passions on here but i don’t think that’s why they should start. i hope substack instead becomes bombarded with more authentic writers, such as yourself, with more interesting takes that scream personality.
This is such a great think piece. When I first started on here six months ago, I was obsessed with people seeing my stuff. I still am but I’m feeling more comfortable posting whatever whenever. It’s definitely hard, though. But 1 like on here makes my day. 50 would probably send into shock. And I’m so with you on the paid content. I want my writing to be accessible and for it to mean something. It being behind a paywall just makes me cringe. I’m not trying to be like Super Duo (and there’s my next post idea)